Thanksgiving 09

Checking in again, after a long time of not.
ps. check out oct. draft

today wz thanksgiving, we had delicious food. My mom cooked turkey, and it wz the best i think i've ever had. YUM. after lunch we all sat in the living room and chilled, i looked at the adds for tomorrow, which wz really nice. all together as a family. then we went up to cr, to see grandma and granddad. granddad had made this wonderful pie, white chocolate and black currant fluffy yum, and grandma perked up after we got there and injected some excitement into her day. sbg and i played the statue game in the blue chair.

then we went home, and i took care of checkers, took a shower and watched the survivor recap episode they always play on survivor. now im here. so about y, um. idk. back to october basically, only i feel like this is worse. worse as in perminante. two weekends ago (or last weekend? i dont recall) we all were going to a movie night at grahams, but y said he couldnt come, until the last minute. he wanted me to drive him home at six, in the middle of the movie, and thought this wz a fair idea because i got to spend an hour more with him. i wznt down with said plan, because i only gave him a ride there in the first place bc he said his dad wz going to give him a ride home when he needed to go. he told me hed lied right as we got to grahams, and i got angry and started driving him home. fight ensued, and he opened the passenger door while i wz on the curvy road out by fsb. needless to say i wz incredibly pissed. walking home wz not an option, and he knew it.

anyway that wz two weeks ago (i ended up going to movie night at grahams... prolly shouldnt hav done what i did, but past is past now.) (if you forget, reminder: shoes) so this tuesday (we hav the rest of the week off) y wz in nyc for a scholarship thing, and so i hung out with everyone at the park, we were playing frisbee. y called me and wz super pissed bc id told him i wz working on something and i couldnt talk online. yeah, i shouldnt hav lied, but at the time it felt like the best thing to do.. he would hav stopped me from going at all if id told him when i called him after school to see how he wz doing anyways.
so yeah. y wz very pissed. wanted me to talk on chat, but i wz having fun with everyone. we .. idk. sigh

oh so. sad thing about tomorrow. this would hav marked the anniversary of him giving me the ring, but on monday (y's last day at school, he left for ny tuesday morning) we went to java h, and he wanted me to wear the ring again (i had stopped wearing it since the last time we fought, i asked him to give it back to me only if he really wanted me to have it) and he just pulled it out in the car and dropped it into my hand, and thought this wz an acceptable presentation for me to take it back. i gave it back to him, and he got mad bc i wznt taking it, but i didnt want to take it when he just dumped it into my hand. i really needed some kind of reassurance, because even though we had talked the previous night on chat, i wznt sure how he felt about me, or if he wz just saying things in the moment.

so before first period he wz still trying to get me to take it, so i did, but then infront of math, he wz like give it back to me if you dont trust me completely. and i obviously didnt trust him completely, so i gave it back, and he wz disgusted that i gave it back to him that he tried to shove it back in my hand but i moved my hand too quickly, and i went to math, and i heard the note as the silver hit the ground all through math class.

so anyway, this, to me, marked the concrete one year anniversary of us being together, and planning to be so forever, so idk, strange timing.
and when he went to newyork, he went to some conference thing, and sigh, i can tell hes realized there are going to be loads of girls when hes in college who are way more impressive than i am, and i think we are broken up for real this time.

we are going to go to dinner saturday to talk.

-nats out